i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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