ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
