i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think we might need a safe word for this...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
