Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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