I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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