OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize