Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
