You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
