You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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