This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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