do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
