I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
