Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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