this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I looked at my own cervix.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
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I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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