you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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