I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
