That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
