Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
