I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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