I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
