All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
