I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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