And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
