please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
