My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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