Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize