this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
