It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
