Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
