i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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