his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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