in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
