you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
