Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
