Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
