So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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