You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
