It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize