it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
