Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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