And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
