I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
