I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
