whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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