Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
