Grow some girl-balls and come out already
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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