glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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