I don't remember. Are we still dating?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
