I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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