I cockslap morals
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
