K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
