she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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