I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
