i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
