is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
