New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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