He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
