Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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