alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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