I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize