oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
