Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
