I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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