am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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