I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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