I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
