Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
