I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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